Monday, March 30, 2009

cute!!

I asked Jacklyn today, "Why are you so cute?!"

She answered with, "Why not?!"

Oh goodness!!! I really don't think she knows what "why not" means (did I mention that she's only 21 months?) but....MAN!! She cracks me up!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

got a million of 'em!

Little Jacklyn is so funny!! I really need to jot down all the stinkin' cute things she says. We think we'll always remember, but...really, when they're older and not saying the cutest things, we can't recall everything that melted us when they were tiny. So....here's a quick one for the day!

Jacklyn has a bad diaper rash. She needed diaper cream and as I was getting her ready for bed last night, I was talking about what I was doing.

She said, "Show me see, Mommy! Show me see ice cream for my bom bom."

Hilarious!! I have more....so, tune in. I may stink at blogging every day, but I do know that I can type a quick post with funny jacky-isms!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

time for some thoughts

I feel like I must write a few thoughts down before they get lost in the whirlwind of my mind. Seriously. Things come and go in there and by the end of the day, I forget. We are NOT in Kansas any more!! Deeply spiritual thoughts, silly, witty thoughts, new resolves and funny quotes from my kids. Doesn't matter what it is, when all is said and done, and it's about 6:00 pm, all I can think about is, "How soon 'til bedtime?!" Focusing on writing anything down is gone. I do my best thinking in the morning. However, when I only get up in time to swig some coffee, zip through a Bible study lesson (NOT how I want to do things!), and then shower and start school, I don't take the time to blog. For some unknown reason, I've got a little extra time today. Maybe it's because it's Saturday and my girls are actually sleeping in for once. Praise the Living God!! Okay....lots of random comma usage and run on sentences and incomplete sentences here...but, oh well. Back to my list of thoughts!

1.) I need to slow down. My life is so great. These kiddos of mine are fantastic. My husband is awesome. My Mom, my sisters and their families all live relatively nearby and I want more time with them all!! (Okay, I spend all my time with my kids.) Jeff's family is in Oregon....It's been forever since we've been up there. My dad and Diane are in Florida....we've never been! Jodee and Mike are in Hawaii...let's go!!! Plus, I also want to see old friends more and just HANG OUT!!!
Anyway, I've just read in the Beth Moore Patriarchs Bible study about how in this day and age so many of us are turning into minimalists. Not in a good way. We do several things...more than we can actually really handle...but we don't do them excellently. I want to slow down, savor the moment, and LIVE my life. If I could pick how to spend each day (which we all can, somewhat) I would laugh more with my girls, rather than rush them and act obviously stressed and annoyed. I would read with them more, snuggle them more and look into their eyes. I want to listen more and bark orders less. I would slow down and be more present when I'm with Jeff. I would cut things from our daily schedule and GO and see my mom and sisters more often. Events and schedules are just things...they are my loves and I really want to make time with them (and friends) more of a priority.
All of this sounds like a New Year's resolution or something. But, it's not. It is just my heart and what is on my mind right now. These are things I am purposing to change! Okay, so a resolution of sorts...A March 14th resolution. =)

2.) My very good friend and I just spoke about something super profound! We talked about rain and how rain, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. I want to remember to blog about this more. Doesn't make sense here, but I promise it will. I just had to write it so that I'd be more likely to come back to it.

3.) George Muller. Wow! I mentioned him in another post a while ago. SUCH an amazing man of faith! He believed that God heard his prayers and answered them. There are so many little stories all within the YWAM biography of this man's life. They are life-changing and I really think every Christian should read that book! As I read it, it totally resonated with me. Like, "Oh yeah! I used to have more faith than I do now!" I recognized MY God in that book and longed for more faith! I think that as a mom, I have tried to figure things out more and prayed less. I have worried and brainstormed when really, all I needed to do is give it to God! *Blessed are the poor in spirit.* I am blessed when I realize that I can't do this life on my own. I NEED God!!

4.) God's presence. You know....I keep being reminded of this. It all started a few months ago when I was being especially grumpy. Who me?! I know, that must be what you're thinking. But, alas, it's true. I had some pretty hateful thoughts going through my head and out of the blue (or maybe black in this case), I felt God gently remind me that...uh...He's very aware of my thoughts. GULP! So, time and time again...usually in a way that startles me back into shape, I am aware of His presence. I am glad, though. I mean, what a jerk I'd be if I was only outwardly being nice. God knows my thoughts, my attitudes and my motives. I LOVE that about Him. I can be super mean, selfish and ugly....but, I sure am glad I can't get away with it!! I want to be changed. I want to be refined. When that happens, the heat is turned up and all the worst in me is brought up. I think God brings it up in order to get it out.

Okay....well, that's the thoughts for now.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

forget it!

Well, I've decided that I'll post as often as I can in March. The daily pressure to be inspired was getting to me. So, yes, I am writing to say that I may not be writing. I love the "give" theme and have a few thoughts a brewin'. However, I'm too tired to try to make sense out of those thoughts tonight. See you....um...soon.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

a gift

Wow! Listening to Paul Young, author of The Shack was incredible!
ONE of the many nuggets of truth that I took home was about grace.
He talked about living in the grace for each day.
THAT is the grace God has given us.
So, again, I got the message.
Do not worry about tomorrow (or the next day or even the next hour.)
God has given us the grace to get through this moment.
That's all we've got.
This moment.
I can worry with the best of 'em.
However, it won't do me a drop of good.
God is so in control.
He's got each thing mapped out and
He doesn't need my help or my concern.
I take such comfort in that grace.
Grace = Rest

Friday, March 6, 2009

gimme some skin

So, yesterday, Maggie was putting her laundry away.
Not a task she ever enjoys.
She normally sighs, slumps her shoulders and tries not to complain too much.
(so that I won't lecture her, I'm sure.)
But, not yesterday.
She was cheerfully putting away her laundry.
I was in her room, putting away Jacklyn's.
Then, she stopped and said,
"Mommy, thank you for folding all of these."
I just about croaked!
I guess I looked just as surprised as I felt.
Really, have you ever known me NOT to be an open book with my emotions?
I said, "Wow, Mags, your welcome. Thanks for thanking me!"
Then, she said, "Well, you DO do pretty much all of the work around here."
To that, I just marched right up to her and said,
"Gimme some skin, girl!"
Gotta love that kid!!

*and you gotta love that "give" post for the March theme, eh?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

living in my now

Wow...I have to say that being off the computer for 24 hours wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be! I did catch myself ALMOST going to check my email, my facebook or some blogs several different times. They are my most constant form of communication. However, I didn't give in. In fact, I believe it was more like 25 hours. I'm pretty proud of myself!
Today, I gave up worrying. Sounds like a great idea, doesn't it? Maybe this one will stick. I sure hope so. But, I won't worry about that. A friend of mine encouraged me to really live in my present moment. I can't tell you how helpful that is! I was worrying about a bunch of things. None of which I can control and most importantly, none of which are happening right now!
Living in the moment has caused the biggest sense of gratitude!! I start to worry or fret about some future event.....or just our future in general, and then force myself to stop. I look at my current situation, my 3 amazing girls who I am allowed to hang out with every day. For an amazing husband who loves me. For a home and for living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet. I can't help but feel thankful.
My heart is instantly transformed and I just thank God for all that He is and for all that He has done for me. What an incredible tool this is!
I have also been reading the YWAM biography book on George Muller. Life changing. I'm sure I'll write more on that soon, but the main thing I am being reminded of in his story is how God DOES answer prayer!!
So, I am working on living in the moment, but I am also remembering to quickly turn my worry into prayer....fully, completely believing that God answers my prayers and I can trust all of my concerns with Him. He wouldn't tell us to pray if He didn't want to hear and answer.
My heart is encouraged and I am looking forward to seeing what God does with it all!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

giving up

okay...so, for the next 24 hours I am giving up computer time.
this may very well do me in.
I just know that I spend waaaaay too much time on here.
I will focus my time on my girls.
See you in 24 hours!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

a break

Lookie here...March 3 and I skipped yesterday. :)
I guess I will GIVE myself a break!
Life is so full and, well, busy, with 3 little girls,
with homeschooling,
with chasing a 1 and a half year old,
with taking the 11 and 9 year olds to:
piano, swimming, babysitting a friend's kids,
and celebrating a dear 3 year old's birthday.
Oh...and don't forget the daily walking of our neighbor's dog,
laundry, meals, dishes, and just the general STUFF that
fills up a regular day.
Yesterday was quite full!
Today I really was thinking about what I would give myself.

Yesterday, I wanted to give myself a break. (not in the best sense of the word.)
I was ready to quit.
I wondered why I should subject these darling girls of mine
to the mood swings, hormonal shifts and general sense of being overwhelmed....of their Mommy. Seriously, can this really be good for any of us?
I thought that it would be in their best interest (and mine) to get a break from it all.
Then, reality set in.
My oldest will be in middle school next year. (I realized that as I drove by the local public school....sort of the shock that I needed to get me out of my daydream of said "break".)
I couldn't see myself sending my baby (I know...she's 11!) off to middle school. Sweet, tender, compassionate girl. What would become of her?!
The break I thought would be so great....for them and me....turned into a bit of a heartbreak when I thought about it.
I would feel horribly guilty, full of regret and sad.
I don't think I'd be getting much of a break at all.
I look at how we homeschool and how some days go and I get really down on myself.
These girls are soooo capable!
They are smart, intelligent and creative.
Some days we just get enough done to check off a box and call it school.
Those days are actually filled with learning of LOTS of other kinds...yet, I tend to be really hard on myself.
We spend so much time talking about character, about life lessons, about faith, about problem-solving, friends, family and God's will.
Those are not things that can be checked off of any "To-Do List" that I currently have.
Other days, like yesterday, we get every school subject done. I can be a bit of a task master. I can order these girls around with the best drill sargent imaginable. The subjects are covered, but what did I really teach them?
Uh oh....I feel the lump in my throat swelling.
I am afraid I taught them that emotions can be the boss of me.
That they sometimes have to walk on egg shells with their Mommy because you never know when she's going to blow.
I taught them that when they argue with me over which Math problems to complete, Mommy may very well turn that into a 10 minute lecture on respect (that probably was heard, "blah, blah, blah).
I, frankly, had a really hard morning yesterday.....and I want to berrate myself for it.
However....I must say that this story has a happy ending!
PRAISE THE LORD!
The single most important thing that I hope that I taught my girls yesterday is that God gives grace to the humble.
That we are never too old (or in too important of a position...ie...Mom, teacher)
to ask for forgiveness, to humble ourselves, and to change course mid-stream.
My day....and subsequently their day....started off pretty rough.
Through the power of God's Word (which I ran to), and through prayer, our day quickly did a 180!!!
We were able to enjoy each other's company.
We were able to laugh together, and we all had some wrongs to admit.
I know I'm sort of rambling on and on here...but I think you get the point.
Sometimes the break I need to give myself is just a break....I can not be perfect. I can not do everything....but, I also don't need to quit or give up when the going gets rough.
That is bound to happen again.....in fact, I guarantee it....I've been homeschooling for 6 years and it certainly has happened in the past. However, yesterday felt different. In a good way.
Today, I'm giving myself a break.
I will blow it, like yesterday.
I will want a break (from all humans on the planet.)
And I will pick myself back up and start again.
Whew!
Thank the Lord for Lamentations 3:21-23...."Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!!"

Sunday, March 1, 2009

blessed

I am sitting here listening to my two youngest daughters play and giggle and sing in the tiny coat closet that they have turned into a FUN play room. (All 3 x 5 feet of it.) A flashlight has been hung from the top and they are having the time of their lives!


So...giving....the theme for March blogs that I'm trying to do....hmmmm....

What comes to mind is this: I want to give my children the gift of endless imagination, laughter, sillyness and fun. I want to give them security, love, safety and peace. (And so much more!)

The funny thing is, that as I sit and think of what I'd like to give to them, I realize the immeasurable gifts that they give to me! To name a few: joy, warmth, purpose, love (OH the love!), and child-like wonder. This list could go on all day.

I have been given so many blessings and today I'm focusing on my kids. I imagine lots of days that's what I'll talk about here. I am richly blessed and I am so grateful!!!