Tuesday, March 23, 2010

best blog on the block

My dear friend Lori has just started blogging.  I'm so excited about this because she has an incredible journey to share!  Her writing is captivating and will absolutely inspire and encourage you!  Check her out here as she shares about Kids, Cancer, Chaos: Loving My Life.
You will be glad you did!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

destiny's shore

It was such a beautiful, warm, sunny day down in southern California. I was 12 years old and fearless. My family was spending the day at Huntington Beach and everything was right in our world.

Mom and my sister Jenny were content to soak in the rays on the beach. My dad, my sister Michelle and I were ready for adventure. We darted out to the ocean for some serious body surfing. The waves were amazing and we had plans to take full advantage of them.

Well, Michelle, Dad and I had a surprise coming our way. We body surfed for hours. I’m pretty sure it was Dad who suggested that we head back to shore. We could kind of remember where Jenny and Mom were, so we started to swim back in that direction. To be quite honest with you, the rest of the day is a little bit of a blur to me.

I remember being very tired. I remember how strong the waves were and I clearly remember bobbing up and down in the water, trying to get a breath. I can still see the blurry brownish water when I think about that day. I can still taste the salt and feel my dad’s arm trying to hold me up as he swam.

My sister and dad were exhausted. At one point, my dad was afraid I was drowning. He tried to see how deep the water was and realized that he could not touch the bottom. He began to panic. He told us to swim harder. In that moment, seeing Dad panic, Michelle called out with all of her strength, “JESUS! Help us!”

Instantly there were 2 lifeguards at our side. Instantly. I remember the red floaty thing that I held onto as they dragged us back to shore. I remember being on the sand very, very far away from where Jenny and my mom were waiting. I will also never forget their word of instruction to us: “If you ever get drug out by a strong undercurrent again, just relax. Allow yourself to float and eventually the ocean will carry you back to shore. It may be much farther down the beach than you started out, but as long as you try to fight the current, you will get nowhere but exhausted.”

Somehow that story is quite an object lesson for me about life and plans. I can think of several times in my life where I stood on the shore and had my own great plans all mapped out. I looked into the distance and thought I knew exactly how things would pan out, only to find myself flailing and trying to catch my breath. There have been times when things have seemed utterly out of control. Times when I had no idea if I’d even make it. There have been other times that may not have seemed quite so bleak, but definitely not the way I had planned them.

I am going to try really hard to hold onto the words of those wise lifeguards and apply a spiritual twist to it. God has a plan for our lives. We can go along for the ride, knowing that it will be an exciting adventure and TRUST HIM to get us safely to the “shore” He has destined for us…..or we can try to fight him all of the way, arguing that it’s too hard for us or that this isn’t the “right” way. If we do that, we can count on the fact that we will get nowhere but exhausted!

I’m really hoping that I can remember this in the midst of the waves of life…not just after a rough set. Our God is so loving and trustworthy….I can’t wait to see what part of the shore he has planned for me to land on.

Friday, March 12, 2010

turn around

Well, you just gotta love me.
Today, I awoke with fresh inspiration.
I've been anxious about life.
Am I doing things right now?
(See previous post)
Will my sweet 12 year old turn into a monster when she's a full-fledged teenager?
(Like her mother did?)
Will my lack of experience kill me as I forge ahead in my homeschooling endeavors?
My brain has been filled with tons and tons of "What ifs."
This morning, however, reality hit me.
The good kind.
I looked at my little 2 year old and melted.
She will only be 2 years, 9 months for this little period of time.
She is too much!  Such a handful and yet so very, very adorable!!
I want to squish her, I love her so much!
My 10 year old is darling!

Ever-changing, funny and so full of life!
She is independant, thoughtful and brave and challenges me to dream bigger.
I want to live in the moment and savor her.
My 12 year old is such a gift.

She is very sensitive, careful and kind.
Her wisdom surpasses my own on many levels and I admire her.
I can waste my days by worrying about our future,
or I can stop, breathe in TODAY and smile.
That's what I'm choosing today.
Why is it that making that decision is so tough sometimes?
Of course that's what I always want to do.....but I get consumed.
I often say that there is a fine line between faith and denial for me.
I believe things will turn out good.
Surveying past history, I could even say they'll turn out pretty fantastic!
I also know that life is filled with trouble, hardship and change. 
That eventually translates into growth.
Growth is good.
So....for today, I'll savor the moment.
I'll do my best to stop worrying.
I have learned that it really doesn't do much good anyway.
I am SO grateful for my precious today.

Monday, March 8, 2010

you're doing it wrong!

What a mixed bag the blog world can be.
I can read one blog and feel so inspired, moved and ready to take on the world.
I can read another blog and feel like I'm just not getting it.
Like I'm doing everything wrong.
I just read a wonderful post about a mom who is reading through For The Children's Sake.
Sounds like SUCH a wonderful read!
Yet, I'll confess that the thought of it overwhelms me.
The book talks about how children need plenty of unrushed, unorganized playtime to explore, create, move, and imagine.
Gosh, I couldn't agree more.
However, there's a line from the movie Mr. Mom that keeps ringing in my head.
The line?
"You're doing it wrong!"
My girls are wonderful kids.
They impress and inspire me.
I love who they are.
I guess the feelings I'm getting are not from the data (my kids) in front of me, more from my own fears.
They are on a pretty tight schedule.
They wouldn't complain, I'm sure....but reading about unorganized playtime to explore, create, move and imagine causes me to want to give them more of that.
Oh, if only we could schedule that in. :)
Those are my thoughts for the moment.
Something to think about.
Something to work on....

Thursday, March 4, 2010

...but who's counting?...

My darling Maggie drew this yesterday.....
Gotta love it!

Monday, March 1, 2010


Wow, it's already March!
How did that happen?!
February is a wonderful month here in our home.
Maggie turned 10 on February 6th.
Kourtney turned 12 on the 26th.
We love to celebrate all month long.
Valentine's day is just a fun holiday right smack in the middle of the birthdays for us.
This year, Maggie went to school with her daddy for her birthday.
He is a 4th grade teacher and she just happens to be a 4th grader herself.
She loved the day and had a fantastic time feeling like a "real" student rather than just a homeschooler. :)
Kourtney is so easy. She just wanted to do a little shopping on her birthday. We drove over to Gilroy, got her a great pair of boots (Ugg style, but not that brand), she spent a few of her birthday bucks in Old Navy, we grabbed Subway for lunch and headed home. She was as happy as could be.
She also wanted to swim that afternoon.
Swimming is a huge part of our life. They had a swim meet this weekend and both of them did great.
Kourtney has set some goals that she'd love to meet and came pretty darn close to one of them!
Maggie had fun hanging with friends. She swam great, but didn't care too much about her times.
Overall, February was a fun month for us...I just can't believe it's gone already.
My girls' birthdays have often brought me to a nostalgic place in previous years...but this year, I can honestly say I'm just really, really enjoying them. I love who they are and look forward to who they'll be.