Wednesday, July 2, 2008

who I used to be

I was thinking today about who I am.
I also thought about who I used to be.
I always had things in order.
I stressed to make sure all of my relationships with everyone
were okay. Didn't want anyone mad at me.
I had my house as clean as possible at all times.
Sickly, sadly, I took great pride in that.
I loved brand name clothes, shoes, bags, etc.
I didn't always have them, but I loved them.
I knew what was going on in the lives of celebrities.
I was up on the latest TV shows and movies.
I had uninterrupted sleep at night.
I could go on and on.

Now, however, it's an entirely different story.
We could start with the uninterrupted night of sleep.
That would be better than winning the lottery at this point.
I think.
Well, okay, maybe not. I do love seeing cute little Jacklyn
even in the wee hours of the morning.
But just one time a night would be nice.
These days, I rarely have things in order.
Namely my thoughts.
My house is FAR from being always clean.
It isn't quite to the "call the health department" status,
but....some days I don't think I'm that far off.
Trust me. You just haven't been over on those days.
I still don't want folks mad at me, but I can't even
return phone calls or emails. Where does the time go?
I have great intentions!
I could care less about brand names and movie stars.
I can tell you that Camp Rock was just on the Disney Channel.
I do love Jon & Kate plus 8.
Other than that, I'm somewhat out of touch.
Today my dad called to see if we were evacuated because of the fires.
Why should my dad, who lives in Florida, have to call to tell me
late-breaking news in my area? Sheesh!
(We have not been evacuated, btw)

What I see is that I have changed quite a great deal.
Not so sure that's a bad thing.
My priorities have shifted.
I remember starting this school year with the girls,
knowing it would be hard with a new baby,
and I just changed my focus.
My goal each day was to tend to my baby and
have a good day of home school.
We did it!
Okay, not every day was good, but it was number one
on the priority list.
It trumped dishes, laundry, and sometimes even my shower.
Who would've ever guessed that I'd be this person?
Aspects of me drive me crazy. It's hard to live with me.
However, sometimes, like today, when I realize that I'm kinda nice...
I really do love my family more than anything on the planet,
I really do find great contentment in God's will,
helps me to like who I am.
Trust me....I could list for days the things I don't like about me.
But, this was sort of cool. I like that God and my family
are my number one priority.
I like loving them.
When it's all said and done, that's what is going to matter.
Just that.


MichelleMarie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MichelleMarie said...

I like you a lot better now!!!!
I liked you then too, of course but this is muy bueno. You are eternity driven, not driven by the nod of approval of others which is fickle anyway. I love and adore you. Thanks for writing this in just the perfect style. You are my sunshine!