turn around

Well, you just gotta love me.
Today, I awoke with fresh inspiration.
I've been anxious about life.
Am I doing things right now?
(See previous post)
Will my sweet 12 year old turn into a monster when she's a full-fledged teenager?
(Like her mother did?)
Will my lack of experience kill me as I forge ahead in my homeschooling endeavors?
My brain has been filled with tons and tons of "What ifs."
This morning, however, reality hit me.
The good kind.

I looked at my little 2 year old and melted.
She will only be 2 years, 9 months for this little period of time.
She is too much!  Such a handful and yet so very, very adorable!!
I want to squish her, I love her so much!
My 10 year old is darling!

Ever-changing, funny and so full of life!
She is independant, thoughtful and brave and challenges me to dream bigger.
I want to live in the moment and savor her.
My 12 year old is such a gift.

She is very sensitive, careful and kind.
Her wisdom surpasses my own on many levels and I admire her.
I can waste my days by worrying about our future,
or I can stop, breathe in TODAY and smile.
That's what I'm choosing today.
Why is it that making that decision is so tough sometimes?
Of course that's what I always want to do.....but I get consumed.
I often say that there is a fine line between faith and denial for me.
I believe things will turn out good.
Surveying past history, I could even say they'll turn out pretty fantastic!
I also know that life is filled with trouble, hardship and change. 
That eventually translates into growth.
Growth is good.
So....for today, I'll savor the moment.
I'll do my best to stop worrying.
I have learned that it really doesn't do much good anyway.
I am SO grateful for my precious today.